Learning to let go, and carry on
by Stormydee
Summary: Letting go of his wife is one of the few things that Mac carries with him daily,his support the people he calls friends and team. Now they need him and his team has to bring justice for one of their own,again.after season 5 sort of random.
1. A Friend

**A/N: This is my first story it is kind of akward im still not totally sure how it is going to end out. Reviews are totally appreiciated, And warning i have horrible spelling and grammer . The rating may change as i keep going. **

**Disclaimer: I dont own CSI:NY, all charactors belong to CBS and Anthony Zuiker**

The lab was quiet now; almost everyone had left for the day. Stella stood and stretched, there was a tight spot in her lower back it came from being hunched over the computer for so long. She slipped out of her office and began to wander though the lab, the only evidence of life was the cleaning crews finishing up and of course the light in Mac's office. As quietly as possible she slipped up behind him, though the cracked door, and laced her arms over his shoulders pressing her cheek to his. The computer screen said he was working on his report for the Jensen's case.

"That a sad one, its after 10 think you should call it a night, maybe get some sleep before someone else in Manhattan dies and you end up skipping more sleep? We both know it will still be here waiting for you tomorrow."

Leaning away from him a little she studied his profile waiting for a response. Stella knew her friend well, she knew the trials he had been though losing his wife, the stress of the job that they all felt. She could see the lines in his face where time had played it cruel game carving deep lines across his forehead, and etching deep into his cheeks. His eyes were weary and she wondered how long it had been since he had slept, not dozed between calls but been able to lay down in his bed and rest.

Reaching further over his shoulder she reached down and took control of the mouse, saving the document she shut the computer off, when he didn't argue with her she knew just how tired he was. She pushed in the keyboard still leaning over him and then pulled his chair back spinning him to face her.

"C'mon Mac go home, the case can wait.'

Taking his hands she gently pulled up, urging him to stand. When he did she waited till he moved around to get his coat just to be sure that he did plan on leaving before slipping back to her own office to get her things as well. They rode the elevator to the ground floor in silence; Mac got out and hailed a cab. Stella climbed into her truck and waited to see that Mac got into his cab, when he did she shook her head as relief coursed through her. She knew where he'd go and if she wanted him to get any sleep she would plan to follow. Pulling out after the cab she cracked the window to let the September breeze filter through her hair. As if to prove that it was time for those not looking for a goodtime or trouble to be at home the memorial was deserted. Stella watched though the wind shield as Mac approached the wall that held the names of all those who had died the day the plane had crashed into the towers. Although the only thing that the memorial did not have were the names of those who had lost a part of themselves in the horrible instant, the names of people like Mac who had lost the love of his life went unmentioned.

Being alone was almost as hard to accept as death and Stella faced that every day, she had always been alone in the foster care system, even when someone offered comfort and friendship only a few times did it seem to be innocent and lasting, for Stella being alone was hard but she had accepted it. Mac had found love, wanted family and then had it all wrenched away, he was coping with being alone and death. All things that come to pass take time before there is acceptance as well for Mac acceptance was still far away, though it may be a little closer it was still on the far horizon. Though Stella was sure he had some good times now more since he had started to try to accept the changes there were still days when it was easy to see how much he missed his wife , his hope for a family, sometimes the team seemed to be his family in the way he treated them, when he was there for them. For Danny after his brother was hurt, accepting the role of God father to Lucy, waiting for Flack after the bomb which had been another low blow, and then again when Jessica Angell had died. In those instances his team had become his family he had been just as supportive to those he worked with as he would have been to a relative. Stella opened the car door and stepped out, he had had his time, now he needed to rest or how she wished put his wife to rest. Stepping up beside him she wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Slowly she guided him away meeting no resistance, he was beyond tired and tomorrow being the eleventh, the anniversary of his wife's death would only be harder. He needed some rest before he worked himself into non existence. Stella guided him into her car then drove him to his apartment and saw him in before heading to her own. This was how she had become accustomed to spending her Septembers and though it was trying at times she kept doing it while remembering all the times he had been there for her, this was just his ongoing nightmare.

Stella stood in the shower letting the hot spray pound into her pores releasing all the tension from the day as she scrubbed her skin. After some cases a hot shower was all she needed to clean herself from the filth that coated her from whatever horror the case had brought up. Once she felt clean she left the shower and crawled into bed and set her alarm half wishing that when morning came there wouldn't be a case waiting for her, but reality told her she'd be lucky if she wasn't called in the middle of the night and that was about it. Before the envelope of sleep surrounded her she thought back to Mac , something was making this year harder for him , almost every year in September he went through a period of strong grief, always had, but for the past few years he had been getting better and this year he had slipped back so drastically. Her heart ached for him; he was lonely and wanted to work it out on his own while only digging himself a deeper hole.

Hopefully there would be a case in the morning to keep everyone's mind busy, as much as the team wanted to help him trying only seemed to make it harder for him. If everyone was busy there would be fewer awkward moments in which she would try to cover up or break the ice and Mac wouldn't have the time to think about what happened that day a few years ago, a case was what they needed and knowing this city what they would get.

**tbc.**


	2. A case, a disrtaction

**So second chapter up :) still not sure how its going to work out got some ideas justgot to get them in and making sense. Reviews are totally welcome * Big thanks to csi-ncis for review , really appreciate it.* and there are probably still some spelling errors that i have just missed, so sorry for that ,**

**Disclaimer: same as before i dont own anything**

If dreams rarely become reality how is that nightmares do. Like any spectrum with two ends the better rarely comes to be, while the other is a twisted world in which Stella was all too comfortable in. She didn't live in her own nightmares but worked in the nightmares of others. Stella Bonasera worked in the torturous nightmares of others, meeting people on the worst day of their lives , she worked in a battle to lessen the horror and inhumanity other could have toward fellow human beings, and to bring closure and justice to the victims and their loved ones. Stella shifted in bed rolling towards the ringing that had interrupted her sleep. Sometimes it was unfair to have to leave the world of dreams and at others it was a blessing. Not that her dreams had been bad, but getting up was almost welcomed except for the time. Reaching for the night table she fumbled for her pager, the green glow informed her of a homicide across town that Mac was also responding to. Crawling from the warmth of her bed Stella scrambled to dress, though it was September the weather forecast hadn't got the message and New York was still being cooked in the heat of summer. Grabbing her jacket, gun, badge and ever present phone she headed for the door. Years of experience had taught her that when called in the middle of the night plan to be half asleep when getting ready. Her badge and Id were always handy, her kit and other tools were in the back of her truck so all that she had to do was get in and be awake enough to drive.

The scene before her would have seemed peaceful without the ME van and police car and had it not been surrounded by yellow tape. Parking next to Mac she pulled her kit from the back and headed toward a climbing structure bathed in the head lights of Don Flack's car. Mac had already started processing the scene and looked up at her approach he watched her slip on her gloves before calling down that he had already processed the surrounding area, it was a dump job and they were planning to take the tube back to the lab. Stella nodded silently wondering how much sleep he had got since she had last seen him while taking in the scene. The climber in front of her was three stories with a slide on the far end and a twisting tube that she was standing in front of. The body was in the tube apparently. Flack came in from the side.

"Those two don't know anything they were here to drink and get laid, apparently they beat them too it." Grinning he glanced at her. "Stella you look just the size to crawl up there to help Mac get the bodies out."

"Bodies? What kind of sicko would dump bodies in a children's park, I suppose we should be glad it was teenagers that found them not five year olds." People could make her sick, and this was not a joke. Clamping her flashlight between her teeth and slinging the camera around her neck Stella crawled into the tube. It was a tight fit; two adults would have to be very flexible to manage to get in together. Twisting herself around in the first turn she saw the victims. "They're just kids." Sometimes people truly disgusted her beyond words, especially when it came to kids. These two young people couldn't have been more than twenty five at the very most; they had barely had a chance to live. Twisting back and forth she documented the scene as best she could.

Mac called down to her. "Stella we are going to pull them up and out, if you can push up Don and I will pull them through the top. We'll move the guy first."

She shifted to be able to push him up and noticed a bullet hole in his right foot, documenting it she glanced at the girl; she had the same kind of wound. Pushing up hard Stella felt the victim come free and the guys pulled him away as the girl started to slide. The girls feet drove into her stomach as she reacted which effectively stopped her slide and knocked Stella's breath away. The guys pulled her up too and Stella processed the tube as best she could, agree with Mac that it was a dump job.

By the time Stella crawled from the tube with her swabs and prints, although she couldn't hope too much to get far with them seeing as it was a public park; dawn was breaking the park was bathed in the pink and orange of sunrise. Shutting her kit she stretched and looked for Mac, he was defiantly distracted from his wife's memory, at least for the time being. Locking her kit and evidence in the truck Stella watched as Mac and Don worked to take down the tube and load it onto a flat bed to take back to the lab.

Stella glanced at the clock as she poured her second cup of coffee for the morning before heading down to meet Mac and Sid, it was finally nine the time that most people started work while she had already been working for five hours, and with little to show for it. Mac already stood beside Sid in the autopsy room next to the female victim. Sid was already explaining something as she joined them.

"Now this one has some interesting bruising around the entry wound, it could possibly be a muzzle burn but I'm not sure. Now I can tell you that both of them have been dead about twelve hours, rigor is just starting to set in, and looking at how they were positioned they were most defiantly placed in the tube as to when they were shot I would guess after they were positioned, I'll lift a picture of the bruises for you to match the angle. I am sorry I don't have more but this has been a hectic morning. Oh and my preliminary cause of death would be axfictiation, I'll know more once I open them up give me a couple hours. And blood and trace have been sent and should be waiting for you." Giving them an apologetic look Sid turned away to meet Danny and Lindsay who were working yet another case.

Falling in step with Mac she pursued the file , other than getting the tube set up for testing he hadn't gotten much more luck than she had on evidence. The next page was on the preliminary autopsy, containing the visible trauma to the body as well as what trace had been collected off them. The male victim had slight post mortem bruising consistent with being lifted into the tunnel and positioned, the female had bruising from being positioned as well as an apparent muzzle burn on her foot. Sid's best guess was that both of them had been smothered and shot in the foot post mortem. Trace had been minimal a few hairs and fibers; not much to go on. They entered the lab, the tube had been set up at the right height and angle, Sheldon Hawkes was already on the platform with Danny flipping through the crime scene photos.

Danny and Hawkes looked up as Mac and Stella entered. " Stella feel like being a human dummy, you are the right height and well close to the weight," Danny called to them seeing Stella's expression he added" I'm guessing on the weight part." He was glad that Stella smirked and rolled her eyes at his comment if it had been Lindsay he might have got a tongue lashing.

"So what exactly are we doing, other than guessing at my weight?" Stella followed Mac onto the platform. The lab was buzzing with activity there were three other teams working on replications as well as a team determining a weapon using a pig carcass that was giving off a slight smell.

" We are going to replicate the crime scene find out if we are looking for one person or two , and find out if they were shot in the tunnel or not . You are the same height as the girl, without your heels and Hawkes is only an inch shorter than the male victim. First I'll try to lift each of you down and in then Danny will crawl down and position you, to prove it can be done by two people, and then Danny will try to do it on his own see if it can be done by one person. It will also help give us a time line how long the killer spent positioning them. Stella, don't look so skeptical." Mac explained the dynamics of the experiment.

"That s great and all but how does it prove whether or not they were shot in the tunnel or not?"

"O Danny can use his gun to match the angle of the shot and draw a circle around the end of his gun then we can compare to pictures there will only be few angles where the bullet will penetrate and not go through the tube so find that angle roughly and see if it matches the picture, you have to take off your heels anyway." Mac smiled and handed her the photo of the muzzle burn on the girl's heel, it was defiantly angled.

**tbc. warning im thinking some major Stella drama to come :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Soo chapter 3. this one was actually the easiest to write so far; i like drama setting the scene is hard. As always probably loaded with spelling and grammer problems but :) sorry**

**Thanks to csi-ncis for reviewing :) really appreciate it . and reviews are loved as are ideas as to how you want it to continue , i read them as i write. **

**Disclaimer : I dont own anything see the first one for who it does belong to **

Danny lowered himself into the tube, remembering what Mac had said about finding the angle of the bullet he unloaded his gun tucking the clip into his back pocket and ensuring that the safety clasp was secure; the gun wouldn't fire. He positioned himself to help guide Hawkes and Stella down into place. He glanced at his watch Lindsay was going to ream him out for leaving her to work the trace while he helped them on this case; although she did look cute when she was mad. Mac called down that he was going to lower Hawkes, a second later Sheldon's feet came into view glancing at the photo he shoved it into his pocket and guided Sheldon to the right , he could feel how Hakwes was trying to be a dead weight and not "help" them but he wasn't doing very well.

It was easy to lower Sheldon down first of because he would fit fine on his own also because it was easier to get a grip on him to lift him. As for Stella he had to use a different technique so as not to be groping her, and Danny would have to be ready so she didn't end up knocking Hawkes out as she was positioned. To lower Hawkes in Mack had slid his arms under Hawkes's arm pits planted his hands on his chest and lifted him over the rim and down letting him slide and releasing him the lower he got. That wasn't an option for Stella, making two fists he slid his arms into her armpits until her weight was resting in the crook of his elbows he lifted her feet over the rim and waited for Danny to grab her ankles then very slowly he let her down angling her body to the left so she would fit snuggly in beside Hawkes. He could see it was a tight fit. Danny was trying to turn her and she was trying to stay still and let them do it all the while wishing they would be a little more careful. When her knees were even with Hawkes's shoulders Danny pushed them apart and pulled down so that she wouldn't get stuck; it was not a position the body was meant to bend in and her body protested by and uncomfortable pressure building in her hip from having her legs twisted. Slowly they worked her into place until she was even with Hawkes and they were both equally squished.

Stella tried to let her arm go limp as Danny pulled it around Hawkes; she felt his being pulled around her. Then Danny called up to Mac. "does that look about right to you?" She wished she could answer for him, yes it was fine now let them out of this; her hip was starting to throb in protest to how it had been positioned. Glancing down she could see Danny comparing his handy work to that of a crime scene photo, looking up Mac was also scrutinizing the positioning to see if they had matched the photo only looking on the scene from a different angle. Mac confirmed. "That is close enough and Danny could finish up and the get back to helping Lindsay."

Mac set the photos aside waiting for Danny to finish up and match the trajectory angle of the gun; he looked up and scanned the lab. There were several different experiments going on , one team was apparently trying to determine a weapon and judging from the pig not doing very well, another group was pulling apart a car , and a final group was matching blood spatter to test dummies. Turning back to his team he noticed Flack approaching, Don put a finger to his lips gesturing for Mac to stay quiet he was going to scare the others. Mac crouched to watch the reactions, it might actually give this stupid horrible day a little humor; which would help put Stella at ease, he knew she was worrying about him and to be honest he knew once this case broke the memories would hit and his distraction would be over.

Stella felt cold metal against her foot looking down Danny had his gun pressed against her foot. Danny glanced up at her "relax Stella I won't shoot you, probably lose my job if I did." He gave her a cheeky grin hoping that he had reassured her. A hammering on the tube followed by two successive blasts made them all jump; Stella screamed and Danny felt a wet heat rush over him. He jumped back dropping his gun.

Sheldon reacted first "Mac, Stella got shot pull her up now, somebody call an ambulance." He slid down the tube forcing Danny down ahead of him. Taking a second to glance up; Stella was gone all that was left was blood. He scrambled up the stairs to the platform, Mac had pulled Stella up, and she had stopped screaming; she was now writhing and whimpering with pain. Sheldon forced himself into the knowledge brought with his first profession.

'" Mac let's get her stretched out, Danny, Flack get up here. Stella you got to listen to me your going to be okay hold on I'm going to help you. Is that ambulance coming, Mac get her wrist I got her ankles keep that knee bent. Pull."

They pulled her out flat Sheldon grabbed Don's hands pulling him down to a crouch, he clamped Flack's hands on both sides of her knee pressuring them tight. "Don, keep as much pressure on both sides as you can, hard as possible it will help slow the blood flow."

Ripping her shirt up he tried to find where the blood was coming from in her abdomen. "Stella, Stella listen to me try to stay still for one minute okay?" He found a spot and pressed Mac's hands onto it. "Danny lets lift her down the stairs, Mac, Don walk with us" quickly they got her onto the floor and got the pressure applied solidly again.

"Hawkes I think there is a second hole I'm not stopping all the blood; it's still coming" Mac's voice was laced with panic. Sheldon fumbled to his knees he tried to find where the blood was coming from, it was bubbling from just above her right hip , he pulled one of Macs hands onto it; Danny had cracked and was now useless the other teams were staring. Reaching for her neck he tried to find a pulse. "We're losing her, we need that bus."

Tilting her head up he pressed his lips to hers giving her two quick breaths, he used one hand to pressure her chest, her pulse was faint he needed to encourage her body to keep pumping blood not force it; thirty firm compressions, two breaths. When the doors jolted open he had never been more relieved to see paramedics. They began to work getting her onto the stretcher and, instructing Mac and Don to stay with them they took her from the lab.

Sheldon Hawkes stared after his friend, he hoped she would fight , Stella had to survive, this was why he had left the hospital and now it was one of his closest friends and he may not have saved her. He looked down at himself, he was soaked in her blood; Stella couldn't die. Without her the team just wouldn't be right, she was like the guardian, there for everyone through both the good and bad; the tough one who defied it all.

A hand pressed against him gently guiding him towards the door, a soft voice accompanied the hand." C'mon Sheldon, go to the locker room, change, get clothes for Mac and Don, Then find Danny before he punishes himself too much and meet me in the parking garage in ten okay? I'm going to take pictures of the tube and get clothes for Stella then meet you. "It was Lindsay; she must have heard the whole thing. Silently he changed then looked for Danny and noticed a sizeable dent in his locker door, heading into the shower area he found him leaning against a wall. Sheldon could see that Danny was upset just by his face not to mention the bruises on his knuckles from beating the locker and wall. He heard Danny's voice crack "I shot her, I shot Stella, I, I," He turned and drove his fist into the wall. He gently guided Danny back to the lockers got him set with clean clothes hoping he would get together enough to change then went round up clothes for Don and Mac. Coming back to an upset and unmoving Danny "hurry up and change we have to meet Lindsay .We're going to go wait for Stella, c'mon Danny."

Lindsay had heard the shots and seen the paramedics come in, and then leave with Stella, Mac and Don. When she had entered the lab Danny had almost plowed her over and Sheldon was staring after the stretcher in a daze; both had been covered in blood. Steeling her emotions to keep them in check she had tried to take control of the situation, prioritizing the same as she would have at any other scene, victims then evidence. After seeing to Hawkes she had documented everything in the lab, the other experiments and people getting everyone and everything, then the outside of the tube and platform including the spot where Stella had been laid, and then the inside, noting the two holes coming into the bottom of the tube. What had happened she didn't know, what she didn't know was that no one was going to touch this scene. Then she left a message for Sinclair informing him of the accident and that she had documented the scene and that it could be an internal case, also informing him that Mac would head up the investigation once he returned from the hospital. Asking how best she should secure the scene as she needed to leave to be with her team. The reply she got was satisfying, Sinclair agreed to let them work the case and he would come down to ensure the scene stayed secure as well as post some people to keep it that way, she could go to the hospital he would process what there was and then meet them; she was to take the photos with her to the hospital. With that done Lindsay headed for the locker room to get her keys and things for Stella.

**tbc. **


	4. remember the little things

**So new chapter:) and for csi-ncis flacks pov is included ( there will be some better ones to come ; i hope) slightly akward , grammer and spelling as always and reviews still loved ( thanks to csi-ncis and mmls for your reviews ) all opinions welcome!**

**Disclaimer: I dont own any thing :) **

Once at the hospital Stella had been rushed into surgery, while Don and Mac were left to stare after her until as an afterthought they were shown to a waiting room and told it would be a while. Mac looked down at himself, he was covered in blood; Stella's blood. He wished the day would just end Claire had died on this day eight years ago, with Stella's support he had been accepting that. For the first two years she was always there for him waiting at the memorial to give him a ride, telling him it was time to quit for the day, listening, encouraging him to move on. And as he did move on she had always been there at the hard times Christmas, Clare's birthday, their anniversary and every September; for the past eight years. Always there to hold him up , to be a friend, and now she was in surgery he wasn't exactly sure how it had happened but it had; and he was going to find out how. Sinclair had to give their team the case; even if it was internal error. A nurse entered; Mac had met her before when he had come to the hospital with victims to get statements and what not.

The nurse bustled in glanced at them; they were a sight. "I'm just about to go into surgery but I thought I'd tell you that what you did probably saved her life. She's made it this far, she's a fighter, shell pull through, you have some friends in the lobby." She offered the pair an encouraging smile.

Mac stared after her only one thing stuck with him; Stella's made it s this far, she'll pull through. She had to, the team would crash without her, Stella was everyone's support network she saw when you needed a shoulder to cry on and when you needed someone to help you celebrate, and he was sure that they often missed those moments for her but she caught them for everyone around her. Running through the nurses words again he caught the end of it; there were friends in the lobby. Slowly he stood and walked down towards the lobby the whole place seemed to be white and bland , glancing around he searched the sea of faces for any that were familiar; the team had arrived. Hawkes and Danny had changed, and Lindsay had a bag; hopefully with clothes silently he led them back to the waiting room. Everyone sits around the waiting room, Hawkes takes a seat beside Don , Danny and Lindsay sit together; Sid and Adam come in and join them ; everyone is silent.

After Mac lead them to the waiting room everyone was silent, she let them stew for a few minutes then stood and offered Don and Mac the bag with clean clothes; they left to change. Sid was first to break the silence "Does anyone know what actually happened?"

Danny swallowed hard" Don hammered on the tube and I think I shot her; it happened really fast I don't know, "he leaned against into her shoulder.

"Actually I looked at the tube and I don't think that it was Danny his gun was there but the safety was fastened and there wasn't a clip in it. Also I'm not sure but there were two holes in the tube I have to talk to Mac to see if they are new or not but I think the bullets came from one of the other replications." She looked up as Mac and don returned.

Mac looked surprised." Repeat that Lindsay, it was another demonstration? but no one came forward."

"Right, I was just saying that I checked the gun at the scene that was Danny's, it had the safety on and there wasn't a clip in it. Also I think that the bullets entered through the tube, there were two holes in the bottom of the tube I didn't check the tragectory but I think they could have been where the bullets penetrated. Sinclair is securing the scene, we get the case I called him once I saw that the bullets could have came from somewhere elsein the lab."

Mac sat down, now deep in thought." That means that it could be one of the techs or other teams , but they didn't step forward, which means one of our people in the tube was the target or it was an accident; either way it was one of our employees. Do you have pictures of the scene there?" he gestured to the camera on the floor by her purse.

" O yea I got a few before I left, I got shots of who was in the room too." She handed him the camera. Mac began to flip through pictures quietly.

Silence fell over the room, four hours stretched like four years. Flack watched nurses bustle back and forth through the halls waiting for one to come to them, with any news that Stella was safe, that they could go see her that the surgery had gone well; at this point he would take anything. He wished he could go back five hours and just come into the lab join Mac on the platform and not bang on that stupid tube, why did it have to be so tempting to scare Danny. As time passed his heart sank, this was just like waiting for Jessica only this time the news had to be good; but the more time it took the worse it looked. Damn he wished he understood the science stuff like the others then he could ask Hawkes to explain what he thought would happen as they cut on her, understand what was happening back at the lab and how this would be handled; how the jerk who did this accident or not would at least lose their job if not more. Maybe he agreed with Mac nothing good could ever come from this day, it was jinxed. Man, he knew exactly what was running through everyone's head, it was running through his own; when had he been there for Stella. Seriously the times when he had been had always been the extremes, after the run in with Frankie, after her apartment burned but what about the little things that he, like everyone else, had just missed them. While she caught every single one. Every little high or low in his life since he had met her she had been there, every big deal; she had been there, she always knew, she even seemed to know when he just needed someone to talk to. And of course it wasn't just him she had done it for; no Stella did it for everyone around her and never asked for anything in return; she was like a grounding force. Why did it have to take her home burning down or getting landed in the hospital for them to remember what she did for each of them, couldn't they be there for the good things too or the little bad things; it was a lesson they all needed to learn. Flack glanced up; a frazzled looking nurse had just entered and he had almost missed her. Staring at the hall had dulled all his senses well except guilt, if Stella didnt come through this,damn, no Stella had to come through this or he might just lose it; Jess he had been accepting what had happened, Stella? no she had been the one helping him accept losing Jess with out her? Not an option heck he wouldn't be the only one who wouldnt cope. The nurse was saying something he had to listen there would be plenty of time to think later.

**tbc, **


	5. On edge

**so i actually got two chapters done today; maybe because im thinking of starting another story and this one is doing good so; there may be a new one comming up in the future. but for now this is my current project.**

**Thanks csi-ncis as always for the reviews and just to clear things up it is september 11, i tried to put that in the tranisiton between chapter one and two. as always reviews and ideas are loved :) **

**Disclaimer : i dont own anything ; if i did it would be very different :) **

A young woman in deep blue hospital scrubs stood before the solemn group." You are waiting for Stella Bonesara, correct?" She continued without waiting for a reply." She is out of surgery and awake but we are having some problems getting her calmed down so that we can clean her up. We don't want to give her any sedatives; would it be possible for one of you to come and help us calm her, a familiar face often helps."

They all stared at her each wanting to volunteer but unsure that they would be able to keep it together to be of any help; the team had always fallen to Stella or Mac for that. All eyes turned expectantly to Mac, he was closest to her he should go but he was shaking his head." One of you should go; I am not in shape to calm her as much as I want to see her I can't see myself being of any help. I think either Sheldon or Danny should go, you two were there when it happened and I saw that she made it here." Danny shook his head, he was almost crying; Hawkes slowly stood and followed the nurse out as silence engulfed the room again.

For the second time he tried to slip back into the training of his first profession , Stella would need comfort not someone getting all emotional over what happened he needed to calm her down so that the nurses could work; and possible check out the surgeons handiwork. The nurse lead him into the post op unit and he prepared himself for what he would see; the nurse had said she wasn't cleaned up yet and as he knew form his time in the hospital that was code for bloody mess; and when the nurse pulled the curtains apart that was exactly what he saw. Stella was a mess; the gown from the operating room had been removed and replaced with white towels but the nurses had not succeeded in getting much of the blood cleaned off. He counted three lines of stitching in her abdomen, her knee was wrapped in white bandages; poor Stella she would not be happy with her appearance right now. Slowly he rounded the bed moving to stand by her shoulder, reaching out he brushed a stray curl behind her ear; the movement cause her to tense and swing her head around.

"Hey Stella it's me ,Hawkes," He spoke gently but she cut him off quickly and thankfully relaxed, he tried not to think about the stress she was putting on the stitches every time she tensed up.

"Sheldon? You're okay? Is Danny alright to, he did make it right?" He could see the panic in her eyes as she mouthed the words; she was going to put herself over the edge. If the nurses didn't need to keep her awake he would just suggest giving her a sedative and letting her heal a bit.

"Everyone is fine, well at least now that we know you are. You need to relax and let the nurses clean you up alright, then everyone can come in and you can see for yourself that they're okay." He kept his tone gentle and continued to brush her hair back with his fingers, her crazy curls were sweaty and some had blood in them he forced himself to ignore it. "C'mon Stel let the nurses clean you up okay."

He watched as Stella tensed again shaking her head she mouthed the words 'no, no please.' He crouched getting down next to her face; he took her hand in hiss.

"Stella let them clean you up then I'll get the guys in here okay?" She balked again her body was almost trembling, Sheldon wasn't sure why she was getting so worked up, he understood why it was hard to be in the hospital especially after Jess's death but still Stella was over reacting; which was not like her. He knew it would be hard for her to allow herself to be vulnerable especially after Frankie but she was working herself into a fresh sweat and if she kept trembling and tensing herself up so much she would rip out her stitches and there would only be more trouble to come. As much as he hated to do it to her he was going to; and hope she wouldn't freak too much later; she did not like to give up control and she was his boss. Slipping his hand from hers, ignoring her reach he pressed gently her shoulders back to the mattress holding her still above her face he spoke quietly." Stella, the nurse is going to go get Lindsay, Lindsay and I will clean you up but you have to lie still alright?" barely pausing "You're going to relax, c'mon relax." She complied. "Good now lay still." He hated doing this to her but he could see it in her eyes almost all her fight was gone she needed rest and didn't want to allow herself to have it; something here was putting her on edge. He would see what strings he could pull after all he had left in the good graces of the staff, they might allow him to take her if she stayed in his care; maybe.

Sheldon turned to the nurse, keeping one eye on Stella to make sure she stayed still which she did but watched him closely. He addressed the nurse" Who is her surgeon, do you know what type of brace she will be given? What are her vitals, when will release be possible? If you have time, when your colleague return I would like to speak to the surgeon and I understand that you cannot leave her alone with me."

The woman was surprised by his actions but also the acceptance of protocol as she rattled off the information while slightly stunned." I, ah her surgeon is Dr. Scotts, and I'll see when he can speak with you, her vitals are one the chart and the brace is going to be a standard support they're mad"

"Thank you I know what they're made of would you see if it is possible to have a plastic one fitted with the work she does she will need it, she'll have to wear it for a few months if I am correct and the plastic will be better suited to her." He cut the woman off, taking a second to glance down at Stella then back to the hall for Lindsay; he wanted her to do some of it Stella would be happier later if there were some things he didn't see.

The nurse nodded "the brace shouldn't be a problem but she shouldn't be returning to work for a while."

Sheldon nodded "not returning to work so much as being at the lab it might kill her if we forced her to stay away but she will need the support of the plastic either way." He was glad that the curtains parted and Lindsay slipped though; the nurse he had been speaking with slipped out whispering something to her partner. As Lindsay came around to the other side of the bed he searched for a reaction, it was unfair to ask her in but it would be better for Stella; he just hoped she could keep it together.

When the nurse had came in and asked for her she had froze; it had been like she stepped out of herself and looked at the scene with everyone watching her before she stood and responded. Following the nurse into the ICU or whatever the room of curtains was called had been one of the longest walks of her life; maybe just as long as when she had walked up to the witness stand when the man who had murdered her friends had been tried, but then maybe it was a little longer. Either way when the nurse pulled apart the curtains she wasn't prepared for seeing Stella, her heart had lurched and it was only her friend's expression that kept her from gasping. Stella was covered in blood her normally free crazy curls were messy and damp with sweat and maybe blood. All that shielded her from everyone's eyes were two white towels; they were stark in comparison to the rest of her body that seemed to be smeared in blood. But Stella's face said delight as Lindsay knelt next to her shoulder and reached to take her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze she whispered a greeting. "Hey Stel it's good to see you're okay." She offered a shaky smile. Carefully reading Stella's lips she got 'you and Danny okay.' She felt her heart squeeze again, Stella looked like hell warmed over and she was worried about her team. Still holding Stella's hand she stood and looked at Hawks for direction.

"Stella won't let the nurses touch her much; something has got her on edge. I want you to help me clean her up, if you think you can. Then I am going to see if Dr Scotts remembers me and try to get her released into my care, and get braces set for her." He spoke quietly aware that Stella was watching every move they made, Lindsay nodded. "Okay I'll clean around the incisions but I think it might be better for you to do the rest, it's not that I don't want to but well." Lindsay nodded again she knew what he meant , there were some times when it was just better to have one of you girl friends there; she hoped that she qualified in Stella's books.

Reaching over she took Stella's other hand "Hawkes is going to clean up the cuts, it'll hurt squeeze my hands okay?" She was glad that Stella nodded, but still a little disturbed; seeing Stella like this was hard. Stella was the one who was strong no matter what; she never looked scared like this she was always ready for the fight looking for a way through it all. On that bed she looked small and weak almost vulnerable, like all the fight was gone out of her, but she could see what Sheldon meant she had been fighting something and fighting hard now her body was spent and she was left exposed; a side that Stella never let the world see.

**tbc. reviews and ideas loved:) the more that come the more i know what people reading like (but no garuntees that ill change the story , but some stuff can be changed or added)**


	6. Chapter 6

**So i am on a roll with chapters. &*** the story is taking an interesting twist, a friend of mine made a sugestion and iam running with it so its a lil rocky right now and introduced in this chapter. :) What if the proffesser had used Stella as a safe house; could there be one more smuggler out there wat happpens :) :) read to find out ! **

**Disclaimer; if your cutting in here you prolly wont get the story, go look at chapter one :) i dont own it **

Everything hurt, gah especially her knee, and it wouldn't move. What the heck was going on squeezing her eyes shut she tried to think, her mind seemed hazy something was wacked. Focus, c'mon Stel what happened so that you would be out flat and sore and so messed. Same tactic she used with witnesses start at the beginning of the day, or yea it was more like still in the night. A call out, details Stel details you know this, she had to push herself through this; it would make sense. Callout, crime scene at a park, what time, four, four am good. Okay she tried to breath deep, ahh more pain her body felt sticky or something. She froze; someone touched her, what! Okay c'mon Stella why would someone be touching you, scram what happened this morning what happened last. O Shoot the shots! Crap who else was there, what had happened; damn it why wouldn't this person stop touching her .Shoot the shots came, the guys Mac and Danny and… Hawkes, ah Hawkes had been right beside her. Her mind was working like as stupid sieve where had Lindsay been, the guys they could be hurt too, shoot where was she? C'mon why did her body ache so much she needed to find the guys, if she could just get up. Ahhh it hurt, half way there, c'mon open your eyes where are you. Gah, why couldn't she talk, the lady needed to stop trying to push her down she wanted to sit, she needed to find the guys and it hurt like crazy. A gentler hand brushed her hair back, it was Hawkes she opened her eyes; he was okay. Finally some answers, now she just needed to get out of here, she was not going to stay! The team had spent too much time at the hospital since Jess, no she could go back to the lab shed even take desk duty for a few days to keep everyone happy. But she could not stay here they needed her , Mac today was the hardest day of the year for him and Flack still needed help with coping from Jess ,shit he was probably out there waiting for her damn he can't stay here it'll be too hard for him. Then there was Lindsay she still needed to take it easy she wasn't totally back yet and someone needed to stay on her case; her guys needed her. But Hawkes was right she felt sore and gross. Lindsay was at her other side now, she and Danny were okay if he wasn't she would be with him but what about Lucy, o well she hadn't been at the lab. She looked down her stomach was a bloody mess; literally. At least his hands were gentle, her body relaxed she was so tired.

When Stella finally closed her eyes Lindsay turned to watch Sheldon, his movements showed his experience. He worked the blood from the incisions showing the black stitching that held Stella's skin together, clean patches in the red coating of blood. She watched as he worked around the third incision; after this she had to do the rest.

"Why are there three incisions? There were only two shots." Sheldon was examining the third incision. "This is a clean cut there is no tearing tucked under the stitching, it's deep to."

"Yes there were only two, we actually want to speak to someone about that, she isn't together enough yet, and there was a coin inside her. It's with the bullets I'll get them for you, but ah well we think there are more but they weren't our, ah without her permission we couldn't go after them. Its puzzling it just showed up on the scan and well we weren't sure so we took out one but she should get checked." The nurse held out two sealed baggies.

"A coin?" Lindsay's voice held disbelief and she knew it but seriously? That was crazy how a coin would be inside Stella; she glanced down to see that Stel was still trying to tune out the world.

"I suppose it would be possible for her to not know that it was inside her but she would know when it got placed; it wasn't within an internal system was it?" Sheldon was puzzled; he finished wiping the incision down and dumped the disinfectant wipes in the trash.

"No it was her abdominal cavity, there was an old scar over it we only dug it out because there was concern that it was an old bullet or that it was weakening a system; but it wasn't. We can't explain it much." The nurse looked a little awkward it was obvious that she didn't like to give this information with no background or context.

"we'll wait for the lab to look at the bullets and the coin , thank you for telling us do you have a number, I am assuming you did a full scan." He hoped she would then he would at least have something to go on because they would expect him and Sid to explain this anomaly he was sure.

"Ah yes we did, our count was nine unexplained appearances, not all of them are properly shaped to be coins. She does need to have them checked out we believe that they could have been put in during her childhood, it would have been painful I'm sure she would know it happened. They are not surgical, you obviously have some medical back ground look at the scars yourself some time , if shell let you they're old'; incisions were probably held together with a band aid by my guess." The nurse shrugged, and went back to a clipboard she had been pursuing.

Sheldon nodded still slightly stunned he turned his attention back to Stella; Lindsay had started cleaning her up and was doing and impressive job, although her eyes gave away how afraid she was to hurt Stella she was using firm but gentle strokes and had removed a surprising amount of the mess already. The curtains moved and Hawkes looked up, his old colleague William Scott. He gestured that they should step outside and then glanced at Lindsay who had focused in on her work.

Outside the curtains Will greeted his old friend," Sheldon Hawkes, long time no see, you know her well?"

Hawkes nodded. "I actually have a proposal for you, I am sure the nurse told you how stressed she was and in light of the, ah discovery that was made I think she would rest better at the lab with the team. I can promise that I would be right there the entire time, and she would follow every one of your instructions, and don't give me protocol crap I know she can be released to the care of a licensed physician and I am still licensed look it up. I also know she is going t o want to at least know what's going on in this case, well I have a feeling it could be one or two cases that she is now going to want heads up on, and that is easiest done at the lab. We can keep her on bed rest in the break room. Also about the brace…"

" Sheldon I'm not going to fight you on it she has been extremely tense since she came too I am actually amazed at how calm she is now I thought we were going to have to sedate her, and I do agree if she is the type of woman you describe her as , her team means everything to her and she will do better healing among them, you can also discuss this development with her. I will issue painkiller andfill out the paper work for her release at the top of the hour and the braces should be coming up any time now I sent Bethany off to get them after she spoke with me. Ill assume that you cared for her prior to EMS. You still have your skills i'd say and she is defiantly a fighter." The older doctor smiled, he couldn't help it Sheldon was the same as always only almost more content even now while he was worried about his friend, he also cared about this woman deeply but not well he would put her as a true and trusted friend really to that whole team he had walked past that waiting room and seen the faces. "Go take the news to your team, and find her some clothes, you'll have to sign the forms then she's your problem. We'll get the braces on her and scrip's filled, just make sure she sees her doctor at some point." He watched as Sheldon spun and headed back down the hall, the career change had been good for Sheldon the young man had developed a connection to this team that he had never got at the hospital, although he still sometimes missed the skilled young surgeon it was good to see he had found his niche.

**tbc... reviews please, and ideas **


	7. Chapter 7

**So here we go again:) lol yea youve read it all before. Chapter seven:) **

**Reviewers: thank you ! **

**csi-ncis: theres a little bit of mac and stella more later **

**mmls: i totally agree i Love Hawkes :) next to stella hes my favourite**

**reviews are loved:) **

Don pushed the chair towards the truck; Lindsay was going to drive Stella, Mac, Hawkes and him back to the lab while Sid would take the others in his car. Hawkes had managed to pull some sort of stunt and get and old buddy of his to release her into his care and so Stella got to leave the hospital early to go back to the lab. The only glitch was what they had found when they did some sort of scan; damn second time in this horrid day he wished he knew the science geek stuff. If he did he might have understood more than half of what Hawkes had been talking about, what he had got was that they had found more than bullets inside Stella; there were coins too. Why Stella had to get shot for them to find this out he didn't know, 'cuz they were going to put her though hell for a second time to get those things out. At least Sid and Hawkes could do it, once they got her consent, this would mean no more trips back to that blasted hospital. Gently he lifted her, supporting her right side while Mac had her left they lifted her gently into the truck and settled on either side of her; Hawkes had told them that sitting would be painful for her but being Stella she had insisted that she would so they were to support her carefully one each side. He was a little afraid to touch her he didn't know what would hurt or not, he rembered after his incident with the bomb everything had hurt, quite literally everything and he assumed it would be the same for Stella and she would of course try to hide it. Mac was intensely quiet he guessed it was because he was thinking; at least right now he was sure that Mac's mind was not on his wife, which may be the only good thing to come of this day. The drive to the lab was quick, he watched Stella, Mac stayed lost in thought, Hawkes shuffled papers and pill bottles probably trying to figure out how to go about caring for Stella and Lindsay spent as much time as she could while driving watching Stella through the rear view.

Driving with Sid was interesting, well that and his stories made him a very distracted driver. But at the lab he proved himself useful in setting up the break room because Danny had no idea how to make it comfortable for her. At least she was being allowed to leave the hospital, she had been really upset about something; Hawkes thought it had something to do with them; which would be just like Stella . Glancing down both ends of the hallway he was torn, he should go wait for Stella but he kind of wanted to go back to the lower lab; which was at the other end of this hallway. Ah how he hated choices; he headed for the elevators, Hawkes would have some stuff to knock her out and once she was on that he could snoop. The doors opened and he watched Don push Stella through; she was not happy and it was more than pain that was visible in her eyes as she scanned each of them. Stella had come through hell and back and was more worried about her team then herself; that was typical only thing that wasn't was her fight, she didn't have the fight burning in her eyes; something had taken her down an notch. Hopefully it was just the meds; 'cuz they'd all miss the real Stella. HE followed as Don wheeled her into the break room and Mac and Sheldon helped situate her on the couch while Sid helped himself to her file. He had to smile Lindsay came behind carrying the crutches, all of her body language said concern; and damn it was cute he would never get over her beauty and he was so glad she was his wife. He had better show some concern before he went off to snoop or he'd hear it; and not from Stella it'd be Montana that would chew him out.

"Hey Stella, how ya doin?" He dropped onto the arm of Lindsay's chair, Sheldon and Sid were messing around with the meds, Flack and Mac had taken the seats closest to Stella on either side and Linds had pulled up close in front. She smiled at him, and Lindsay nudged him and mouthed that she hadn't talked yet. A knock on the door made them all look round and his jaw almost dropped.

"Hey guys, Hope you feel better Stella. I got pulled back to help with in interviews, good thing is its limited number; thirty five including you, and we haven't found the gun yet. But Sinclair hasn't left that room yet and is pulling it apart piece by piece." Kaile Maka watched the team's expressions; she had moved over to narcotics but because Flack was so close to Stella she had asked to be pulled back and Sinclair had put in a word and it had happened ASAP. The guys were too distracted to ask questions.

Mac nodded, the team was distracted and upset; working would help, he wished he could but well Stella was going to get better and if he left her she would get even and he would be doing what he had felt so guilty about doing before. " Okay well Kaile it's good to see you again and we appreciate your help so flack can go and help you, you need and interview from him anyways, Sid I believe you still have two autopsies to finish; Danny and Lindsay pass your case off to Swing and take that one. All the evidence is there and we determined that it is a two person job. Sheldon you and I will stay with Stella and deal with this case when the other closes you're on this one as well." He nodded to Danny and Lindsay. " Stop in regularly and take breaks working will help us but so will being together; we are family; and none of us are sleeping till this case is solved we need to know whether it was an accident or not then we deal with the new ah, evidence about the smuggling ring. Kylie asks Sinclair to come see me when he has the chance."

Mac watched everyone disperse, Danny was last to leave and he paused at the door, "Mac are you sure that the ah, coin is related to the smuggling ring? Cause I thought that was closed."

"I don't know it's my first logical guess, we need to talk to Stella; close your case and well close this one then we deal with the new bits."He glanced down at Stella; she had relaxed into the couch her hand brushing his. Danny nodded and followed his eyes down to Stella and then turned and left; Hawkes slipped out after him. Finally alone with Stella he stared at her trying to recall the last time he had felt as afraid as he had in that waiting room; it had been a long time. A sigh escaped him and Stella looked up, wincing slightly, he brushed back a curl tucking it behind her ear to reassure her; the last time he had been that afraid had been waiting for the call about Claire, and maybe finding Stella after Frankie had beat her. Green eyes stared at him hard.

"Mac wha." She swallowed hard; talking hurt. "What's wrong? I'm fine, everybody else is okay, and it was probably just an accident."

He smiled; Stella was going to be okay." Hey, you're talking, that's good. But you can just rest okay? I'm just worried; it looks like and internal error and I'm sorry that you got hurt." He should tell her about the coin but she needed to rest and he wanted to talk to Hawkes first.

She shook her head, it was easy to see he was lying, and she knew why; he wasn't working his mind wasn't distracted he was thinking about Claire, damn she just had to get hurt if she hadn't he would still be up to his neck in the case and distracted. "Are you going to work this case? Or does Sinclair want us to stay out of it" Ahh talking hurt but not as much as moving. Sheldon came in he had some sort of machine, he must have nicked it from the ME's office, why though; she didn't care he'd tell her soon enough. He came over with a glass of water and cupped hand; pills, as much as she hated meds the escape from her body would be welcome. She felt Macs had slip underneath her and lift her to sit; she tried to hide a wince but the guys caught it. He gave her the pills and lowered her back. The room began to slide but the pain also slipped away.

"Hey Stel they'll knock you out for a bit; I'm gonna check something, Mac will help me well talk about it when you wake up, it wont hurt." He slipped the pills between her lips followed by the straw, once she swallowed they saw her start to slip as her eyes fluttered shut; the rest coming was needed. To Mac he explained." They're strong, she'll be out for about four hours, I am going to do a scan and see if the nurse is right; Ill need your help. Once we know we'll talk to her; we should also look at the coin they gave us." Glancing back at Stella he saw her body relaxed into the couch; reaching down he took her pulse. "She's out."

**tbc... we meet with sinclair and a little more on the coins. ahh now for the science stuff :) which i dont know all that much about so sry if its not totally acurate im trying to keep it as close as i can but well :) **


	8. Chapter 8

**So at it again :) another chapter, not my personal fave and kinda short so sry , i promise ill make up for it **

**Disclaimer: You know it already **

**To AlignmyStars: thank you for the review :) and i didnt know either but i looked it up and you are right sorry will change :) really apreciate it **

He looked down at Stella; the medicine had knocked her out and she looked peaceful. Her body was relaxed but that did not change anything; her leg was supported by stretchy cloth brace the white bandaging showed at the top and bottom. The shirt Lindsay had brought had been too hard to get on so she was currently in Sheldon's shirt; even though it was excessively big, he could see the outline of the bandages encasing her stomach. But her face looked at peace; brown curls framed her heart shaped face, her features were slightly slack but the lines of pain and worry had faded away; it was nice to see her at ease. Gently he pushed her hair back , fumbling an attempt to make it fall the way she usually had it; parted to the side with one side tucked back and the other free and loose. Then he positioned her for the scan; Hawkes had found some sort of portable scanner toy down in the autopsy room and brought it up to prove the nurses right or wrong. Gently he stretched her out, carefully watching her face to see if pain would push its way through the medicine; the movements did not seem to bother her. Sheldon nodded to him and he stepped back to watch the screen while Hawkes wielded the machine.

"This'll bring up a full body image; we will be able to see voids where there is anything metal. She probably wouldn't have noticed them because whenever she went through a metal detector she would have her gun, or jewelry or something she couldn't take off. Plus she's a cop so they probably would just let her walk once she gave them a reason." Sheldon started the probe and began circling her head.

"It actually would have worked well; Stella had always wanted to be a cop so once she had her badge it wouldn't have been a problem for her to get through a metal detector, and we all know how she feels about doctors and hospitals; it takes an emergency to get her there. And when she was in foster care and the orphanage she wouldn't be traveling ; I think she had her badge the first time she flew so she would have passed metal detectors no problem ; in the orphanage they wouldn't have time to check if she had and injury. He probably arranged for accidents to happen then he patched her up and told her to say it was an accident; she was young and alone so she believed him because he cared about her when no one else really did. She was just an easy target; problem is he is dead and we thought this ring was gone we may just end up uncovering more smuggled artifacts." The screen now showed a skull and neck; shoulders were beginning to scan in.

"That or another member of the group, you should contact the authorities in Greece. Here we go there's one, it is a funny shape." He ran the scanner down so that the image became three dimensional; they used these scans during autopsies all the time it worked quite well.

"I will, I also need to go and see Sinclair, can I leave?" When Hawkes he added, "text me if I'm not back and she wakes up" partly out of guilt, he shouldn't leave her. Sheldon smiled and nodded continuing the scan.

Slipping out of the break room he headed to the lab and ducked under the tape, the room had been pulled apart; Maka had not been joking. Sinclair was in the process of pulling apart the car that was being processed while they had been there, he watched his boss work; mildly surprised at how involved he had gotten. Mac scanned the room there were ricochet marks under the tube that suggested the directionality of the shot, leading towards the car; the rest of the room had already been ripped up, this was the last area. "You've got a lot done, any leads?"

Sinclair turned and stood, he slid the gloves off his hands, he was a little hurt that Mac sounded surprised at his work; he had been a investigator as well before moving up to administrative. Still after what he knew he had put Mac through in past he could hardly blame him. He had taken a few goes at Mac before and it hadn't always been fair; but Mac Taylor was a good CSI and he would go before court to say that, though it would take a lot for him to admit it to the man's face. "You have a strong team, you do good work, especially Bonesara, we need to deal with this and you're team needs to be together. I assigned a swing shift investigator to help Messer and Munroe, I was an investigator too and I know team means family I get that; I might not always show it but I do remember my team." He was well aware of what Mac thought of him and knew this wouldn't change it, but well it was deserved and well founded.

"Okay, any leads?" Sometimes Sinclair acted like a friend the next he was at your throat; he was just concerned for appearances sake nothing personal at all.

"The room has been processed; it was the car that shot her, accident but lucky shot as far as we know. Detective Maka is with the team working on it, trying to determine the trigger. I'm afraid the man it belonged to had known association with both the Smugglers and Maula. Any other situation and I would say she was a target; the car was picked up in a drug bust. As far as I can find he has no webcam or A.V. attachments in it that would have allowed him to target Bonesara directly. I'm ruling accident unless anything new is uncovered, I am afraid that's the best I can do with what we've got, you are welcome to go over it." He knew Mac and his team would, with a microscope.

Mac nodded, not the outcome he was hoping for but possibly, the best; they would be busy with the case that could possibly be reopened on the smugglers. However, they would be going over it, he took the file on his way out; he may as well read the case notes. Flipping through he headed back to the break room, and glanced at the clock for the first time since getting word on Stella; the day was almost done it was already early evening. The team would be spending the night; it would be easiest to be with Stella and learn about both cases. Sinclair defiantly wanted to rule this improper handling along with reckless testing; it was a little to neat for his liking. He entered the break room; Stella was awake and propped up with a pillow and talking; or more listening to Adam. Sheldon was working with a laptop in the corner; joining him he found that the young surgeon was planning how best to go after the voids in the body scan.

**tbc..**


	9. Chapter 9

**So another chapter. i think things are moving to slow so i am going to try to speed it up **

**thank you for the reviews ; they are always appreciated**

Adam had slipped in to offer to get everybody something to eat, figuring they were going to be here a while may as well get food; and for now Sinclair was done with him. Getting side tracked by Stella hadn't been in the plan but he was glad that she was awake and wanted to talk even if she did look a little uncomfortable; when he had asked her what she wanted her face had taken a greenish tint. Food wasn't on her mind yet but her team apparently was; and she knew him well the fact he didn't like Sinclair since the boss had tried trade him in for some machine that could do DNA testing so working for him would be stressful didn't slip by her . When Mac came in he decided to find out what the guys wanted and then return with food; Mac had a case file if he didn't get out now he might not. In reality it had been a long and bad day; and he knew everybody else felt the same way but Mac felt work helped and he didn't agree.

Sheldon had watched Adam; he had been nervous when he came in, and he defiantly hadn't been planning to stay and chat with Stella; Adam had always been a little awkward around Stella, his guess was it was because he liked her. But when Stella asked him to talk he had stayed, and it had been good for her to be awake and focus on a conversation, it would help them later; explaining his project to her would be interesting to say the least. He went back to the scan, it had worked relatively well a CT scan would have been better but this got the job done without the stress that the high tech tests would put on her body. From what he could find the nurse had been right on with her tests, he had found eight voids that suggested a foreign object in the body; nine including the one that had already been removed. He loaded the file to the laptop and now came the hard part; getting at them while causing the least trauma to Stella's body. Will must have known they would go after the voids outside the hospital , the pain meds would knock her out enough for the procedure if they were quick one dose would keep her down long enough to do it and then have her wake up in time to confirm stability. It was just how best to go about it, he wanted to document the scars; if he could age them he might be able to jog her memory as to when it had happened. They needed to talk to her first and he was going to leave that until Mac got back; Mac might be mad that he hadn't texted him when Stella had woke up but Adam needed some time with her too and he got shy around his bosses so no Mac meant Adam would be a little less awkward. He wasn't surprised that Mac showed up about ten minutes after Stella woke; he figured that the guy would sense it but just has he guessed Mac arrived and Adam excused himself. Once Adam left they silently decided that it was time to talk to her about the coin; Mac retrieved it from evidence and they sat down for a little face time, he had no idea how she would react. He hoped her scientific side would over ride the freak out, if she got too agitated he had no idea what she would do and she could prolong her recovery, curiosity could actually help them.

Visiting with Adam had been nice; he was stressed out that was easy to see, but everybody was a little stressed right now. Hawkes was watching her; she wondered what he would do if she tried to get up, whatever he had gave her had dulled the pain, she felt fine. Adam left and both Sheldon and Mac came and sat down across from her; and the first words out of Sheldon's mouth were." Don't even think about getting up." Damn, she had to move and get used to this brace to get back to work; not to mention the last time she had been on crutches she was like a teenager.

"Can I at least sit up; that's still resting." If they weren't going to let her work they would at least have to let her move; and they couldn't stay in here forever. At some point they would probably leave her in Lindsay and Danny's care; she could talk them into letting her get up. Sheldon helped her sit propping a cushion behind her back; it was progress. The guys looked incredibly serious, Mac was stressed; probably came from having the park case and the internal investigation on his back.

"Stella, lift your shirt I want to check the incisions." Sheldon carefully removed the bandages and she looked down to see the damage; she knew that there had been two shots, but there were three incisions. " When the nurses did a scan, before retrieving the bullets they found a number of voids, I think they were concerned about the bullet having shattered when they went after this one." He lightly ran his finger along the incision, her body was beginning to react to the recent trauma, the edges had gone from fire red to a bruised purple black; but none of the stitches had ripped. There was slight swelling but nothing he would need to worry about. "Stella they retrieved a coin from inside your abdominal cavity, it is an old coin and it has been there a while, while you were sleeping I ran a scan because the nurses said there were more. They were right I found eight more voids, this scan works the same as the one we use in autopsies to locate bullets." He handed her the scan she was shaking slightly.

They were watching her; they wanted a reaction or something. Taking the scan she looked at it; she could see the voids and she knew what they meant. She had looked at so many of these sheets of paper in autopsy that showed where the bullet or fracture was; but this was her body she was in control. For that coin and those other voids to be there at some point someone had cut her open and put them there. She touched one of the voids, it was just above her hip; she already had a scar there she even knew how she got it; it had been one of her few trips out of the orphanage with professor P. he had taken her to the zoo it was one of the first trips he took her on. She had been following a monkey along the enclosure wall and tripped down a flight of steps and cut herself on a piece of glass. Her heart almost stopped; that wasn't the only scar s he had got with him that now had a void marked under it; and old coins were defiantly transported through his smuggling ring; the bastard had used her. Damn it, how, she had trusted him, he had been one the few good things about her child hood and he had just been using her. But how would he have known she wouldn't find out, never mind one of the first things she had told him was that she wanted to be a cop. That's how she had been able to go so long without knowing; her badge and gun she always set off metal detectors but she showed them her badge and continued. Tears welled up it shouldn't be that surprising after learning what he had been doing for so long; she had just been convenient, it was just her luck. When Mac put his arm around her she leaned into his shoulder; one of the few people she could trust wouldn't use her. She pulled the cushion out and leaned back into the couch; sitting was too hard right now. "It was a Greek coin right? This all comes back to the prof…" tears came "it all comes back to the professor doesn't it?" She released a deep breath, life could never be simple could it there always had to be a curve ball.


	10. Chapter 10

** So again we go , still working on it:) please review it gets better i promise**

**diclaimer; please you know it :) i dont own anything **

Well, Stella had taken the news quite well, better than he expected, but then it was sort of like giving her another kick while she was down; which was cruel. Realization had flooded her face when she looked at the scan. His heart went out to her; he knew how much respect she had held for the professor and how quickly it had been shattered. She had been close to him and he had let her down, now she was reacting to the news he had been using her and she didn't reach out to them, she tried to sink back into the couch, Mac moved to sit beside her and she leaned into him. Stella was strong and she rarely looked to others for support but it seemed that whenever she did give someone her trust they betrayed it, well that went with the exception of the team; they would be there for her no matter what even if it took the threat of their jobs to keep them there. It was probably a bonus that everyone loved Stella because he was not going to let this team leave her alone , everyone else already had and her colleagues although he thought he knew how they would chose were not being given a choice. He watched her face; tears had started to fall, he pulled her closer trying to make her feel safe. It felt good to have her in his arms; he pushed those thoughts away she needed support from a close friend , not a man who might find her desirable, keep it to the friend feeling Mac he scolded himself.

"It, it was the professor;" he heard her voice break," wasn't it?"

"We don't know that yet, but we will find out, I promise. Just relax, I've got you." Over her head he motioned for Hawkes to close the door, the team might care about her but she didn't need everyone to see her like this. He let her nestle into his shoulder; he could feel her fighting to compose herself. She pushed herself back to sit, his arm still around her; Stella always fought back when she needed support it was never for too long.

"You need to cut on me, don't you? Will I have to go back to the hospital?"She was building herself up for a fight; something about the hospital was bugging her.

"No you don't have to, an old colleague of mine released you to my care, and he knew about the situation and bent the rule when it came to the pain killers. I have meds strong enough to put you under here and Sid can assist me, we'll steal the tools from autopsy and do it up here. While we do that Mac will get in touch with his Greek contacts find out if we could be looking for another smuggler. By the time you wake up well have some real answers for you." Sheldon crouched in front of her offering some Kleenex; she had been shifting around without the bandages on, but the incisions still looked okay; while she looked like a fragile shell of her usually tough front.

Stella nodded." When are you going to do it" She wanted to know if today, well tonight judging by the clock was an option she wanted this done, this was her last connection to the professor she wanted to put the whole thing behind her move on and get back to life as normal.

"We'll do it whenever you're ready, but if you want to wait a while it is an option we know that surgery is invasive. It will put a lot of strain on your body, and it is already under a lot of stress from this morning so it is your call." In all seriousness they should wait a few days but he knew that Stella was going to want it done, it should be safe as long as they were careful and kept her resting long enough after, and he understood why she would just want to step away from the whole thing.

"Tonight? I just want this to be done." There was a knock on the glass that made them all turn, it was Danny and Lindsay. Sheldon nodded and excused himself to go find Sid while Mac went to find out how his contacts in Greece were making out with their investigation. Danny and Lindsay both had their food, and a bag for her, but she really didn't want to eat. Lindsay took Mac's seat to help prop her up while Danny perched on a chair across from them both broke out their food; she realized that they probably hadn't eaten much today what with it getting so off track. Danny caught on that she wouldn't be eating first and tucked the bag into the fridge. "How's your case going? You took over the case Mac and I started this morning right?" talking often helped; especially for Danny it him from what he thought he should say or feel after this morning.

"It's going good, were working with a girl from swing, Kendall, we ve got the guys talk about crime of passion. It was two of the girls exs, she got around dated all three best friends. Not the smartest move when it comes to guys, she was a dancer that was why she was shot in the foot. Her dancing was how she met them, basically she screwed them over she they screwed her over and well I think they're realizing it now killed one of their best friends, and it was over a stupid high school crush. Seriously." Danny rolled his eyes.

"I suppose, take away her dance so even if she lived her passion was gone. What was COD? And why a children's park? How'd you pin them?" Cases were easiest to talk about, going through details and evidence and motive was always interesting and a topic they could all input in.

"Poison, the shots took out both of their passions, he was into football. They used cyanide, the girl Teresa Jasee, was kind of dumb two of her exs ask her and her current boyfriend over for a movie; and everyone said that both breakups were bad. Anyways the park was where she laid each of them for the first time so they laid her there for a nice touch. IT was sick. Apparently they had joked about it for a while, no one thought they would go through with it, we found cyanide in guy ones house and the gun at the others place. Then once we had prints well they were there in the mess of them so it'll stick and then they confessed so it's pretty solid." Lindsay had cut in to get a few words in and change the topic." How are you feeling Stella?" It was predictable that Stella would work around the most important topic, but she understood why; although it didn't mean she would leave it alone.

"I'm fine, they won't let me get up yet but I feel better. I'm glad that no one else got hurt, Lucy needs both her mommy and daddy to come home at night. How is she doing anyways?" Stella turned herself to face Lindsay, with her back supported but the arm of the couch.

"Lucy is good; she's staying with the babysitter till we find out what's going on with the smuggling case. How you feeling bout that?" Danny cut in; if Lindsay got started they would get nothing out of Stella although he liked to talk about Lucy just as much. It was a good diversion tactic from Stella, it was hard to keep a conversation going in the right direction when it was three experts in interrogation; good thing it was two on one.


	11. Chapter 11

**So i have rather long note so i will leave it till the bottom but if you like this story and want to make it better please read **

**diclaimer; if you dont know it then you havent seen the other chapters **

This time she chose to lie back onto the table, and she felt safe, in truth there was no surgeon she trusted more than Hawkes; he was good friend and she would trust him with her life because the nurses had told her he had already saved it. She swallowed the pills he handed her and laid back onto the table; she felt him begin to mark where he needed to cut to remove the objects; they suspected they were coins of some sort. His hands were gentle and the pen marks he made were small; they had struck a deal once he had determined how best to go about it. Stella had to wait till morning; so the whole team had spent the night at the lab with her, and she had a feeling that on Macs orders they took turns working and sitting with her, Lindsay had gone back to her apartment and found her some clothes for after this and packed her a bag; she would have to stay with Mac for a while. She smiled to herself the guys were being really good about this, it was a lot of extra work for all of them; especially Sheldon but it was better that it was done here for her and for them. When she was in the hospital she couldn't stop thinking about Jess; and if Jess was on her mind then the spunky brunette cop was defiantly on Don's mind and he did not need that, he needed to move on they all did. And if she was in the hospital the healing they would be there. Stella felt Hawkes trace a line along her hip; that was eight now he was just waiting for her to fall asleep. She closed her eyes and tried to relax the medicine had already taken away all the pain; she felt two fingers press against her throat, Hawkes was waiting for her to go under and her heart rate to settle.

When she closed her eyes he checked her pulse; he needed to be sure she was under before starting and her pulse was the best way to tell. Carefully he traced the disinfectant wipe down the first pen line; the antiseptic was cold and she didn't react as he swabbed her right side. He could see a faint white line in her sun kissed in skin, Hawkes pushed the scalpel through and traced the old scar; it would minimize the new scarring. He pushed deeper and inserted a thin camera into the cut and glanced at the clock; Mac was going to help him because Sid was busy with autopsies. Twisting the probe he searched for something other than flesh; pushing deeper yet he found his mark. Sliding tweezers in he twisted them in to get the piece of metal; it was a key. Surprised he pulled it out careful to follow the same path in and he minimized the tearing and avoided bleeding; he glanced at her face she looked peaceful but when he was done the number of incisions would have tripled and her body would be far sorer than before. He was glad these incisions could be made small taking only three or four centimeters and four stitches, her body would be marked up enough by the time this was done. Sheldon looked up as Mac entered and handed him the camera probe. He moved on to the next incision.

By the time he got off the phone with Greece and got Danny and Lindsay started on background checks on all employees in the lab as well as Adam tracking movements and down to meet Hawkes to help with Stella the surgeon had already started on Stella. Mac had seen lots of autopsies and gore in his job and just as much in his time as a marine but it had never made him feel nauseous before. Stella looked like she was sleeping and in some perspective she was, very deeply, he directed his gaze to where Sheldon was working; though it was tempting to look other places as well. He would give anything to trade places with her he thought while sliding the probe into the newest incision above her hip. Hawkes held the incision open and slid tweezers in, he cringed that was Stella's body he had thought about it at night some times and now he watched and helped cut it, he was confused when a key came into sight clasped in the tweezers. Mac pulled the probe out and watched as Sheldon stitched it closed, he let his gaze wander up her body and wondered if she left him would he have the strength to face another day? They proceeded and his thought s wandered mostly over and over the same thing brought up with many different reasons; he could not lose Stella she was his rock in the storm of life and he needed to tell her that. Mac held her arm up and supported her so that she was on her side with her arm up over her head, Hawkes was stitching up the incision under her arm it had been the last one because they had to move her; not that that was hard he hadn't realized how light she was. Silently he wondered how many meals she skipped while working a case, he knew they all did it but well he had never thought about how much she weighed until now when he was supporting her body and it wasn't heavy at all. Sheldon finished and Mac let her back to the table, he watched as Hawkes covered the incisions; he did it differently than the nurses had done it he covered each one individually. Then he buttoned her shirt; or more correctly his shirt as hers had been too tight over the incisions and would only make her uncomfortable. He watched Hawkes take her pulse and then turned to look at the collection they had extracted from Stella's body.

"She should wake up in about an hour; we can take her back up to the break room. What do you make of the keys and coins?" Sheldon carefully moved Stella into the wheel chair, her body was limp. When they got her into the break room and stretched out on the couch both men sat down at the table and spread the objects in front of them.

"Well the Greek government apprehended another smuggler almost a month ago, we never heard because they couldn't prove that he even had a partner, just recently they believe that they uncovered some correspondence from a possible partner. It referred to a third party who was helping the unbeknownst; I think it was referring to Stella. Meaning I think we took down the heads of the operation but we didn't consider getting a ring that big going all the underdogs that would surface once the leaders fell. Anyways I'm looking into whether today's attack could be related; deep background checks and movement correspondence tracking on all the people in the lab this morning; but I doubt that it will be related. I think we have another suspect to find."Mac flipped one of the coins over, trying to determine that it was Greek; they needed Stella for this she would know better than them.

"These keys could be what that suspect was after, I bet they're for a safety deposit box or something could be more artifacts stored there. I would also bet that these coins are the most important to the smugglers." Hawkes fingered one of the keys it had a label or number that had been filed off they could probably raise it in the lab.

"Yes I suppose but how would the group known that Stella would be safe? I just don't get it, there's a lot of risk in putting them in a child I mean what if they had been found like well if Stella had gone for surgery when she was twenty and a doctor had found them?" Mac needed to find a connection that linked back to someone other than the professor; someone residing stateside.

"Stella was an orphan who wanted to be a cop, the professor developed a relationship with her when she was alone, and he knew her mother but never let on to it, he built a trust through similar heritage; she was kid he tricked her. He probably assumed he would be able to remain in contact with her and then positioned himself to be close in her life, if she went for surgery as a teenager who from hearing her talk would have been waiting for her?" He paused and saw Mac understand. "He would have deflected the question and then Stella would have disappeared, we should be glad she didn't find out till now; it would have put her in a lot more danger if she knew. She was an orphan; it wouldn't be too noticed if she went missing." It was sad but probably the truth.

"And if Stella got found out that sick freak would have just moved on to another kid." People disgusted him sometimes, but that might have been part of why he kept at his job; to get rid of a few of the freaks. He glanced at Stella, she had shifted slightly; he moved to sit by her and took her hand giving it a gentle squeeze. She rolled her head towards him, eyes barely open; she was just starting to wake up.

**tbc.**

**so i want to start some more stories but you may have noticed i suck with grammer and spelling like alot ! so if you are interested in beta reading for me i would like someonewho sort of likes my style of writing to give their opinions and i will totally give you credit for it to read over and do their thing before i post **

** and if you like i have no problem returning the favor**

**three things **

**if you havent been a member long enough to be a beta i dont care you like the story and want to help me with making it flow good then try it.****the only way we learn is to try.i am thinking of starting one shots sort of like epsiodes and i would really like someone to read them over before i post cuz i get hyped up when i write something i like and make a lot of errors that i dont catch my self. n****ow for the three things**

**take a chaptor do your thing **

**send it to me **

**before august 16 **

**and if i pick it i will totally give you credit for your work. **

**ps i dont really write smaced to much; i really like their relationship as good friends , this story is a little different but most of my stuff wont be.**


	12. Chapter 12

**So this chapter is short and it kinda sux, i was having a mega block with, i was trying to decide how far to go and what not, anyway to get through i had to start 2 more stories lol and that was just to get a move on this one, its sad i know but anyways this one sort of rambles no where but i promise the next chapter will be better, and have some good Stella/ Mac moments plus some kinda action.**

**PLEASE REVIEW, you guys are the readers i want to know what you think, that means you too lurkers :) **

**Diclaimer; dont you know it, i dont own it , i wish though **

When they told her she would wake up sore she hadn't been prepared for this; she knew what they were doing and where. She had anticipated pain but just not this much, everything ached; she tried to shift onto her left side it didn't feel as sore. A hand took hers and gently squeezed, turning towards it she already knew it was Mac; seeing he just confirmed it, he still looked worried. Twisting her head more to the right she could see Hawkes at the table; they were back in the break room, he was looking at whatever they had pulled out of her body. Everything hurt; she wanted to go back to sleep, something in her was relaxing it felt good; much better than the pain she had woke up with. She heard Mac, he was talking to her, but she just wanted to sleep; rest inst that what Sheldon said she needed. She wished he would shut up; she wanted to sleep, everything was fading fast and she was happy to let it; to slip into a pain free oblivion.

Mac however felt the exact opposite, weren't people out of surgery supposed to stay awake, isn't that why the nurses hadn't wanted to give her a sedative. "Stella, hey Stella, c'mon stay awake. Hawkes, she slipping, is that okay?" He glanced back at her; she had closed her eyes and relaxed the hand he held was limp. "Shouldn't we wake her?"

"Mac , relax she's fine, probably sore as hell but fine let her sleep for a while then we'll get her up and walking a bit. When she wakes up we probably won't be able to get her back to sleep so we should plan to have her help work on the case, you know Stella. Rather than sit here and stress go to the store and get this cream for her." He handed his frazzled looking boss the slip of paper with the name of the cream written on It." it'll reduce swelling and pain for her." Sheldon watched his boss leave, then bent about a post op exam, checking pulse, blood pressure and movement, then finally he checked each incision; he really hoped that he had done them tight enough to keep them thing and small. He turned back to the table, they had documented each piece and now he was trying to figure out exactly what time period they had come from, and he was getting nowhere. They had pulled the case file on the smugglers and knew the time period they had preferred, but there were over a hundred coins from that time period and he had to match which one it was. Mac had returned with the cream and then left to check how the others were making out, it was good for the guy to get out of here something about this was eating at him and it was so obvious. When Stella woke up and Mac wasn't back he decided to give the boss a surprise, it would be good for Stella to be up anyways he might as well get a little entertainment out of it; even if it would worry Mac Stella would probably just take care of it. Hawkes helped Stella to sit, then positioned the crutches and helped her lift off.

When she opened her eyes the room seemed empty, but Hawkes came into her line of sight and after a few minutes he actually helped her to sit and gave her the crutches. She took two tries at it before standing awkwardly; it was strange only being able to rest one foot on the ground. Although standing had taken a couple tries walking actually proved to be the most difficult part one knee was bent and not coming unbent for a while and she really wanted to use that foot but it wouldn't work; propelling herself forward awkwardly and slowly they made their way towards the lab and lay out room, Hawkes stayed right by her side and kept a hand on her back how that would stop her from falling she wasn't sure. Slowly they made it to the lay out room, the walk that she could normally do in about five seconds had taken five minutes and she was relieved to see that everyone was in the room, meaning she could find a seat and rest not go and hunt down anyone. Mac stood and gave her his seat as Hawkes set eight evidence bags on the table, she twisted back and grabbed a set of gloves from the box on the wall and began to pursue the case files and evidence.

**tbc, with improvements **

**reviews=loved thanx to AlignmyStars and csi-ncis, i can always count on you :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**So another chapter, I should be shot ! i do not write smacked but that is what this is becoming and (bad bad bad) i actually like it so, this one rambles a little bit, it is hopefully a little better, im still trying to get around a minor block( which might attribute to the smacked) i warn you it is rough, and it may not make a lot of sense i will try to bring it back to be more realistic in this and the next chapter( thank you csi-ncis, i am not good at re reading because i know what i want to say and sometimes leave out details. This is proof reviews do help:))**

**Anyways disclaimer: if you dont know it go away i am really bored of writing this, i dont own it **

She was a little surprised to see Stella up and around, well right now Stel was sitting but to get there she had been up and the crutches leaned against the wall verified that. Setting Lucy's carrier on the back table she lifted her daughter out and fitted her into the comfortable bend in her arm, at three months Lucy had become extremely cuddly and had settled to sleep almost through the night so now bringing her into work wasn't as big an issue because the mini Messer now had enough sleep to be sweet to all her admirers. She pulled her seat up next to Stella who was working on a laptop with the coins that had been pulled from her body spread out in front of her, slipping her daughter into her lap she gloved out and studied the page Stel was working on, each of the guys was busily trying to raise the filed down marks on a key leaving them the coins and history to meddle in. She smiled when Stella pulled the baby onto her knee; Lucy was a distraction but when she looked up she could see Mac was pleased that Stella had lost focus.

When Stella had entered the lab it had taken most of his will power not to jump Hawkes and drill him on why she should still be in the break room resting, but he knew if he had he would have heard it from Stella. Still the look of relief that crossed her face when she sat told him that she was pushing herself to hard. But she had settled down and started in on the coins leaving Danny, Hawkes and himself to figure out the keys, Lindsay had returned with Lucy a short while later and began to work with Stella, and soon Lucy thankfully had Stel completely distracted; though it did leave Lindsay to do the work, but Adam should be done with his background checks soon anyways and could help her. Watching his friend play with the little baby he thought about how much she deserved one of her own, to shower with love, a baby and a man who truly cared for her not her body but the woman who she was the one who cared so deeply for her friends, who fought for closure for those who had lost their lives and the ability to tell their families what had happened to them. And how badly he wanted to be the man that she came home to each night, the one she trusted with everything, the one she knew loved her forever who would never hurt her intentionally, and how he wished he had never hurt her. But he had and she had still been there for him, he had pushed her away then dragged her close to cry on her shoulder when he reached his breaking point; she was the only one who had stuck by him through it all, well at least the only one alive Clare had been there as had few buddies from the service but they had all moved on to another place. Glancing at the clock he decided that he was sending everyone home at the end of the shift, and he was going home with Stella; he wouldn't be going to the memorial tonight. Before turning back to the key he was working on he stole one more glance at her, she was cuddling the baby and trying to get the little girl to release a curl that she had locked into her tiny fist; it was easy to see that Stella loved the little form that was trying to pull her unruly curl out straight. This last hour was going to drag, but he had to focus on his work and try to figure out how he was going to get the guts to tell Stella that he needed her; for the rest of his life. After spending the rest of the hour filing the key and slowly lifting more and more of the logo he finished it, the key was to a locker at the Y. He sealed it back in its bag and began to clean up gesturing for the others to do the same, Stella was still focused on Lucy or maybe she had just gone back to her he wasn't sure, but she was distracted enough that she didn't notice that the table was cleared and that Mac had told everyone else to go home; and they had happily complied. He waited for Lindsay to come back from the locker room and collect her daughter, he watched Sheldon and Adam leave casting curious looks through the glass at the boss and second in command as they exited, he saw Danny scamper after them probably to bring the truck around for his wife and daughter, it sometimes amazed him how much of a family man Danny was becoming. Then Lindsay came and settled Lucy in her carrier and gave Stella a gentle hug, now he had to convince her that she needed someone to stay with her tonight; he would take it slow because she would fight.

"Hey Stella, we're done for the night, should we find some food and share a cab?" He offered her the crutches, knowing she didn't need anything else because when she was working she carried the minimum badge, gun that was absent at this point, phone and a little cash in her back pocket. "C'mon after these past few days it's my treat." He was trying to date back to her following him to the memorial and back for the past week or so.

"Thanks Mac, but I think I just want to head home and crash, and I think we've been through this before we live on opposite sides of town there is no point in sharing a cab. If you're worried I'll call you when I get home." She braced the crutches and tried to hoist herself up but had to sit back. Mac came over and put a firm hand in her back and this time he supported her while she got her balance.

"Sorry Stella, let me change that, we are going to get some food, I'm feeling nice so I'll let you pick." He paused and offered her a smile." Then we are sharing a cab and because I am a decent guy and you've been through a lot I'll let you chose whether we are going to your place or mine, but you are not spending the night alone, not tonight and not the rest of this week." He reached for the med bottles on the table, the prescriptions were for Stella; Hawkes must have sent them in with Lindsay the sticky said she could have one at seven to relieve the pain then another before bed to sleep or if after eleven she could have two. After that the bottle said every six hours, tucking them in the inside pocket of his jacket he made a mental note. They slowly made their way to the elevator and then he settled her on a bench and got the truck and settled her again in the passenger seat, throwing the crutches in back, he decided that they would stop at his place and get clothes, get food and go to her place, he would then call Sinclair and inform him that unless the team made a significant break they would both be taking a day off; that should go with Hawkes directions, really they had pushed her to hard. When he finally had her settled on her bed propped up by pillows he sat beside her and handed her a burger, she smiled all through dinner but didn't eat much, still she did eat enough that he wasn't too worried, but it wasn't what she would normally have. After they finished he was relaxed when she started conversation just as if everything was normal, they talked for a while keeping it light but what he really needed to say ate at him. He thought everything was going decently until she said "Mac, you need to leave."

For a minute he was startled, he had thought she got the message especially after she had listened to him talk to Sinclair without fighting it. "Uh Stella I thought you got it, you can't stay alone for awhile. The only reason you are even home is because I promised Hawkes I would stay with you otherwise he probably would have made you come to his place or something."

"Mac, I want to change, I keep my night shirt under the pillow and I will manage by myself, the painkillers have put me on cloud nine. But I do need you to leave the room." She smiled sweetly at him, and he felt a furious blush start to heat his cheeks.

"Uh yea, sorry." He left the room feeling like an idiot, standing outside the door he waited for her to be ready and told himself that when he went back into that room he would tell her that he needed her, he needed her friendship and he needed her in his life for good. But it was so hard to tell her, he did not like to reveal his feelings or as she put it 'to act human'.

When she gave him the all clear he grabbed a glass of water and a pain pill for her before going back into her room, if he went through with this he didn't want to face the questions right now, get her to take the pill then tell her and get out, go stretch out on the couch to tell himself what an idiot he had been. He walked in handed her the pill and glass then sat on the other side and waited for her to take them; he knew that two of the pills at the same time would knock her out, he hoped this one would make her tired enough not to drill him with questions. He took back the glass and balanced it on his knee holding it lightly. "Stella, when you got shot" he broke off, why did it have to be so hard," when you got shot I was terrified, that wait in the hospital was the longest of my life, but it gave me time to think and well, I, I realized how good a friend you were to me before Clare died and then in the aftermath, and I truly did appreciate it even if I didn't say it." Why did he have to be distracted by her eyes right now could she not just break eye contact with him? "But well I think everyone realized today and yesterday how much it would break up the team if we lost you, and I know you'll probably hear it all in the next little while but what I realized is that over the past eight years you've become my rock, the one thing in my life that is always there. And I know you have always done it for me but I haven't always been there for you but I will be for now on. I promise I just don't really know how to say it." He reached out and took her hand, searching her eyes for some sort of response.

**tbc,weirdly for my style i think this one will end up nicely, and im thinking only a couple more chapters, then depending on my wacked mind i may start another one ( that will hopefully follow my actual style more ) possibly we shall see**

**okay in all seriousness this is becoming smacked ( and i know maybe not what you want its deffinatly not what i planned but its how its going down so) i am considering changing the rating ( from T to M) and yes with me that means smut, most likely so that is a warning but i do want opinions!!! like majorly also i never promised romance and that is what this is turning into so that too may change. so you dont want it to become a mega M or a serious smacked romance please tell me how you feel because i am starting to get lost in this but either way i will be changing the rating because i dont want trouble for it being wrong and someone complaining because they read something offending**

**review are always loved( and thank you to those who do)**


	14. Chapter 14

**So another chapter:) and i am still going, i think this is the longest peice i have ever written :) anyways thanks as always to csi-ncis for reviewing **

**i am going to start another story in the next few days as well as update Shattered Glass in case anyone is reading that , i know it says complete and that is because each chapter is sort of a seperate story alot like episodes they can be read in order but they dont have to be. anyhow hope you like this chapter it is very smacked ( not my style but) **

Stella stared at him, she felt him squeeze her hand but she was still trying to wrap her mind around his words and the fact her mind was hazy to begin with wasn't helping. When he stood and pulled the pillow from behind her back and left she tried to find the voice to tell him to stop, but she didn't know what to say. Damn him he had to give her that stupid pill before telling her then run after, he knew the meds would cloud her mind Hawkes probably told him that, and he had used it to escape before she got in two words. Sleep came fast, she wanted to avoid it to get Mac to come back but her body was protesting, she shifted onto her side so that the hip that hurt the least and the knee encased in plaster were against the mattress; it felt good to at least be able to sleep in a comfortable position in her own bed.

Mac lay on the couch staring at the ceiling, he wasn't sure how long he had been there, well since had dogged out when he saw Stella try to find words he figured this guilt was well deserved. He didn't want to think, he just wanted an escape, and it was so much easier to just keep his thoughts in. But Stella like Clare drew them out, listened to him then offered comfort, but every time they needed him he was too late. For Stella he would have to change but first he would have to hear her out; but what was he hearing now. Everything was quiet he had been the only one awake in this apartment for a long time but there was some sort of noise, it wasn't talking, it was a almost whimpering sound; it stopped puzzled he sat up it couldn't be Stella she was out for the count. He stood and wandered toward her room, he heard a soft whimper; it was Stella he paused.

"No, I loved you, you used me, why?" Her voice broke as she thrashed, she was holding him again, he was dying again, only this time she knew one more piece of the story; but the only thing she wanted to know but could not grasp within the realm of her dream was the ending. "Why, couldn't you have waited till I joined the force, why when I was child, when I thought you to be my guardian angel? Am I the only one?" Tears came and she fought the dream that held her Mac stared through the crack in the door; she was having a nightmare, reliving something he would guess it was in the orchard in Greece but it was now that she knew he had used her. Approaching her bed he crouched beside her gently pushed a curl away from her face.

"Stella" he called her name softly as he wiped away her tears, she hadn't been able to toss around because of the cast but she had thrown her head around and fought the blankets with her arms, she was a mess and he cautiously straightened the blankets knowing she was still half asleep. He heard the soft whimpers again and knew he had to wake her."Stella, wake up it's a nightmare c'mon." He pressed his palm to her cheek, it was a gesture she had offered to him on many occasions; and when he was lucky it was accompanied by a kiss a treasure he had learned to hold close. Her eyes opened and a hand came up to hold his hand still, she stared at him eyes wide still shedding the horrors of her dream, he tried not to watch her chest heaving and focused on her face.

"Mac?"Her voice sounded weak, tired, he knew the dream had taken her shortly after he had left her and she hadn't gotten much rest. He used his other hand to wipe the last tears from her face before replying.

"It's alright Stella, it was just a dream, and you're going to be fine." He wished he could say she was fine but in truth she wasn't. Stella wasn't a person to show emotion quickly unless you knew her; if you knew what to look for it was easy to see when her emotions were there and they often were. Now an emotion she rarely let show was most evident in her eyes; fear, fear accompanied by pain. He was fairly sure that the pain in her eyes was not so much from the pain her body had offered but the hurt brought onto her by those she had trusted, for Stella it was betrayal again.

She said words he had never thought he would hear from her mouth; he may have on the occasion dreamed of them but kept those dreams pushed far back in his mind, very far back. "Mac hold me, I don't want to be alone." Slowly he crawled in next to her, carefully easing in close, not touching her but close enough she would feel his presence; he could feel hers. He rubbed her shoulder gently and pulled her hair back away from her face; offering comfort in the only ways his dazed mind could think of. She took his hand and pulled the arm around her, tight, he felt her arm come underneath searching for his other; finding it she wrapped it around her too. She pulled him close to her body; he could feel her shoulders moving as she fought for control of her emotions, he could feel the plaster encasing her knee close to his own, he forced his mind back to the real world. He felt her start to settle and as she did she curled more and more into his body for support, holding off temptation he was glad that she was finally getting comfortable and he could feel sleep coming for him too.

**tbc**

**ps reviews thanks**

**pss anyone considering beta reading ?? :) would be appreciated**


	15. Chapter 15

**So a short update :) i am starting a CSI vegas story so it will be up soon too **

**reviews loved**

**disclaimer ; i dont own it **

Mac woke to sunlight streaming into the room; he started to shift before he remembered where he was; and who he was with. He glanced down at her sleeping form before scanning the room for her clock and then back at her when she shifted, a slight moan escaping her lips. Closely watching her now, looking for signs of pain he reached for the pills and water still on the bedside table from the previous nights; she was due for another dose; overdue in fact. When she didn't move again he set the glass and bottle back on the table and resumed his position; it was nice to hold her he thought as he let his mind wander. By now the team would be back at the lab and back at finding a link in their evidence, later he would call Sinclair and let him know that he and Stella would be taking two weeks off, he decided to let Sheldon head up this case that would help him. The young doctor was on the promotion grid and this was the kind of case that would get him the step up. This time when Stella stirred she stretched arching into the curve of his body; but he caught the pain that slid into her eyes when her body protested.

"Morning Stella, want a pain pill?" He released his hold on her and sat up until a delicate but strong hand gripped his wrist preventing any further movement.

"No I do not want a pill, I want to talk to you, lay back down; you aren't escaping this time and by the way giving me that pill then telling me was low, you knew it would knock me out." Her grip tightened and pulled him down; maintaining her grip she slowly maneuvered to face him, repositioning herself hurt like crazy but when she stayed still she could still think straight; and she knew she would be sore for a while, good thing she was accustomed to pain. Once comfortable she watched Mac for a few moments knowing he would let her speak first. His eyes were easy to read they held guilt, fear and maybe something else; she wasn't sure. His arm was tense, as was his neck he was either nervous or very mad; she would be going with nervous because she knew Mac to be a private man who shielded his feeling to prevent getting hurt. From the time she had spent with him in the past ten years, and from standing by him through the good and the bad she knew that they had developed a special friendship; and sometimes she had wished it to be more but never dreamed that he would feel the same way. She also knew that her loyalty had had its impact because she could get away with many things that others couldn't, she knew how to draw him out of his shell. Slowly she the arm that her hand controlled around her reaching for the other she slid it underneath herself and pinned it; she noticed him bite his lip then she slowly pulled him close , impressed by the fact he allowed it.

"Mac what you did wasn't fair, but it doesn't change what you said, and I sincerely hope you meant it because if this all happened because I was hurt, I will only be more hurt later whe…"

He cut her off quickly," No Stell your right it wasn't fair of me to give you the meds first but I honestly wouldn't have told you if I didn't know that I would at least have time before you either reassured me that if is mutual or pushed me back. But I meant every word I said." He spread his hands over her back easing closer to her. He was about to add to the statement when Stella reached over him and took a pill from the jar and swallowed it dry and pressed herself against him hard and rested her head on his shoulder. This was something he could get used to; he was going to get that time off and enjoy this for the next two weeks.

**tbc,,,, it may be slow for an update sorry this was short, i am starting another story i am a little stuck as how to develop this one right so it will be a monday before an update. Reviews will help getting an update. **


	16. Last chapter

**So final chapter, i am very sikked finished my first story !!!! The ending is a little quick but ive written it three different ways and this is how i like it best, i want to know what you thinK!!!!!**

**Mega thanks to csi-ncis i think you commented on every chapter and i really appreciated your input! and big thanks to everyone else who reviewed too**

**Diclaimer; if you havnt figured it out by now leave this page :) i dont own it**

The day had progressed and as he had planned Mac made the calls to the lab, and had got caught by Lindsay who decided that the team needed to get together after the shift so now he had to clean up a little and figure out how to tell Stella that he had invited the team to invade her apartment; thankfully he could put that off for a bit but not too much longer as Lindsay had agreed to come over an hour early and help her shower, once she had the okay from Hawkes. So far things had gone well, once he had managed to free himself from Stella's arm in the late morning he had taken care of everything with work for both of them and then managed to get her up and out to the kitchen for lunch , and got her to eat a bit but denied her any coffee now that she was home it was easy to see that her strength at the lab had been Stella proving herself at home she let her pain show a little bit; but she had perked enough to eat and mention that she wanted to get cleaned up not to slam Hawkes job but she still felt strange and thought a hot shower would help. After lunch he had settled her then called Hawkes and got Lindsay first who immediately knew Stella would need a shower, promised to get instructions from Hawkes and bail him out then planed for everyone to get together and nailed Danny to pick up food, before finally passing the phone off to Hawkes; some things never changed. Once all that was set he shut Stella's land line and cell phone off, turned his onto vibrate and coaxed her to go to sleep with only a couple aspirin, then began to neaten things around her place to try and make them appear the way she would want them, needless to say the afternoon passed slowly and Lindsay arrived and woke Stella before he mentioned the team huddle but in true form Lindsay decided to take care of that too.

All the guys walked in about an hour after Lindsay arrived except Hawkes who was 'tying up a dead end' in Danny's words and would probably be a while. Shortly after that Lindsay and Stella emerged and Don started trying to coax an honest report on how she was feeling with little success, so he turned to Danny in hopes of something related to the case.

"So where are you on those back ground checks, Adam still at the lab with Hawkes?"

"Naw he's getting food, Hawkes was on the line with someone from Greece about the bullets or something."

"Or something?" Danny wasn't really paying attention; he was trying to listen to Don.

"Yea he couldn't get a hit in any of our data bases but some contact from Greece called, knew you, anyways he sent them the info and they got a hit. He's looking into it but with back ground checks we've got nothing there but went back over that car. Remember in the lab it was being pulled apart, anyways it was moved in while you guys were doing your reconstruction; key point came in during your reconstruction. The car had been in the lower lab, anyone with access to the lab had access to that car, I ran the trunk for residue inside, it tested positive only on the inside direct angle to the tube. It was treated like a crime scene because of Stella getting shot, the trunk was open techs said they hadn't gotten to it yet working front to back. I timed it from the time you guys started and it was said Stella would be getting into the tube to the time she was shot is about eleven minutes, time until the car arrived seven so there were six minutes in the lab; assuming three minutes in transport he had four minutes to get to the car in the lower lab, into the trunk to wait transport."

"You're sure on this, its premeditated attempted murder, and he had to have the trunk popped a little or we would have a hole in the car."

"Right and the gunshot residue confirm that on the roof of the trunk, our guy will be covered in it. And it is possible to get in position I tested it and I made Lindsay test it we were both able to do it easy."

"So he just had to make the shot. Now we just have to find who."

"Right now we need a suspect, and that is anyone in the lab or transport even maintenance." Danny shook his head and reached to take Lucy from his wife. The bell rang and Don grabbed the door and Adam came in with the food.

"Hey guys, yea foods here, Mac got nowhere on the back ground checks everyone in the room is clean." He set the bags on the table and dropped onto the couch next to Danny.

"That's great but Danny just said we may have another suspect who could have hid out in the trunk until everything got chaotic , all the techs stayed policy but our suspect could have left with everyone coming and going when the paramedics arrived and half the lab decided to come and see Stella taken out." It was truly irritating to be hands off especially when the case was inside the lab and his team was involved. He glanced over at Stella she had taken two aspirin rather than the pain pills but she seemed to be doing good and entertaining Lucy but she was sitting stiffly; but Stella was worth it.

"Yea but then we would have him on some security tape, and he would have to have reason to be there we could look for anyone who wasn't on shift or visitors in the area." Adam glanced at the door as the bell rang; Don got it again and this time it was Hawkes.

" Hey we have a new suspect, from Greece bullets that were in Stella also came from Greece used in a homicide also related to antiquities bullets were a match ; no gun ever found. Main suspect was the professor's nephew once removed; same age as Stella. Spent most of his life in Greece get this came to New York shortly before the first death, left and was arrested in Greece for forgery. Now it gets interesting the key from under her arm we got it cleaned up and the document this guy forged was to get another copy of the key it is for a Safety box in Greece."He offered Mac his notes from the phone conference.  
" Does this nephew have a name and how could he get into the lab?"Hawkes had tried hard with this case; it would be good to see it pan out for him.

"Like this his name is Matthias Samaras, but he is also known here Tas Samar, and he works in maintenance for the lab; night cleaning crew."

"So he would have no reason to be in the lab during our reconstruction, if we find him on tape we have reason to question him." Stella perked and winces when she shifted her leg.

"Yes if we can find him on tape, how are you doing Stella, stitches still good?"

"I'll be fine once this goes down, how long will I be on crutches and sore? Also till you will let me back in the field?"

"I'm saying at least a month, but Mac gets to make the call on when you return to the field, and crutches till you can walk without them. But it will take some time to get your movement back I would look into some physiotherapy to get used to everything and rebuild the muscles, cast won't come off for about two months then you will just have to wear the brace. Anyways I've got someone running the video now to see if we can find him on it." He bent to check her leg, carefully releasing the brace and checking inflammation.

"How long will it take to find that?" Mac knew it could take forever.

" No idea, we could get hit in five minutes it could be five hours we have to sift through faces and well everyone came out to watch the paramedics." He glanced up," Stella straighten your leg as much as possible."

"Alright so we have a suspect, can we get someone to track him down just on affiliation, follow up on his uncle or get tabs just so we can find him later, he has had plenty of time to scram by now."Danny knew the longer a suspect had to leave the more likely he was to disappear especially when he was working in the lab and having a record he might scram just to keep low key.

"Well if we find him we can send him back to Greece after we are done with him, more antiquity heists and that kind of thing, we can put him in jail for life if we add premeditated attempted murder of an officer."Hawkes flipped it to a page near the back for Mac to see before bending back over Stella's knee. "He has a good long list of offences on his rap sheet." Hawkes lifted Stella's shirt and pressed two fingers between two incisions making her gasp."Stella we got you pain scrip for a reason." He checked each incision while the others watched silently."Seems good, take the pills they'll help with the swelling too." She gave him a guilty look. Adam dealed out the food, the guys had ordered from the stand on the corner of main; they often ate there as a team when they were in the middle of a case and Mac always had the same thing and Stella was easy she would usually try anything.

"We have him, and I've got to go." Don stood gave Stella a quick hug and headed for the door." Take your time getting back on your feet; you'll go stir crazy stuck in the lab. C'mon Hawkes we've got a friend to meet and an interrogation to do, Stella we might need you to stop by later, we'll see what he knows first."

Don Flack shut the interrogation room door with more force than was needed but this was going to be a long night; this brat wanted to talk them in circles, he knew a lot but they would have to unwind all the lies in his story before they got the truth.

"So you were heading back to Greece for a family reunion, two days after an officer was shot, in the lab, didn't think we would want to talk to everyone in the building that day. But oh wait you were only in the building the night before right?" Flack leaned against the edge of the table.

"Right look I left after my shift and went to buy my ticket." "You weren't there during the day at all?" "No." "Really not at all, Hawkes show him that picture, so that's not you?" Hawkes slid the picture across the table; the guy spun it around and looked at it for a minute.

"O yea that lady cop got shot, didn't hear whether she made it or not, and I stopped by to grab some stuff from my locker, forgot about it."

Hawkes spoke slowly ensuring the slime ball heard every word." That lady cop is on my team, and she did make it I find it interesting that you work at the lab and the hospital only there you're a driver, for the morgue? Imagine if she hadn't her body would have been sent to the morgue, and then sent for transport to us, could have gone missing somewhere along the line, would have been handy right?" He gauged the man's reaction, he was defiantly involved, but he was not sure how deep.

"Funny thing, before the operated on her they had to stabilize her and run a scan to find the bullets, that scan brought up a lot more than bullets and another member of my team happened to hold her next of kin title so he was informed of it." And you see before my partner was a criminalist he was a surgeon so we went and found those other things; it got a little interesting you see he didn't find anything we expected he found keys. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that now would you?" It could be fun to make people sweat, sometimes, and this guy was defiantly doing that along with thinking or trying to; he wasn't a good liar.

"Now something even more interesting I find is as a surgeon I can tell how since these articles were put there, and it happened when she was a child, when did you find out about it? After your uncle and father died the ring was wiped out, except for you, felt you needed to tie up the loose ends, you're lucky she didn't find out before. Imagine if you went to all that trouble and she had found out and had them removed long ago; it's a risk you run with using another human being as a mule."

"Okay look, this is a little judgmental, just because my uncle and father were into stuff doesn't mean I was, I was in Greece till nine months ago. I had nothing to do with any of that and I didn't shoot that lady, if I had she would have been dead I know how to handle a gun. And I work two jobs because neither pay all that good." Tas let his head hit the table.

"Oh we know that you were in Greece for most of your life see we have friends over there who are very interested in some other things we found in her. But you just forged a document two years ago on random, because you didn't think you could get that key. Maybe you thought your uncle really had lost it until later then you realized he wasn't joking and your forgery got caught so you figured you would come and collect all of it not just one safety deposit box but all of them."

"Look I didn't shoot that cop and I don't know anything about any coins or keys or anything that you found in her or whatever."

Hawkes smiled, he took the bait hook line and sinker." We didn't say anything about coins, but you know something about them please share."He glanced at Flack who slipped back into the room."We also have a warrant to test your hands and clothes for gunshot residue; you can strip here seeing as you haven't changed since we have you on tape."

"And here's a tip from a cop who does this for a living, tell us the truth now it's a lot easier than if we simply go back to our lab and prove everything so it doesn't matter what you say, or if you say anything at all." Flack leaned over the table," another tip I take this personally because the woman you shot survived, agreed to allow people to cut on her again so that Greek antiquities could be found and returned to their rightful place, also I am proud to count Stella Bonesara as my friend and I don't take to nicely to people shooting my friends, give us the gun and we give you to the Greek authorities, rather than dealing with you here."

The rat sniffed"whats the difference sounds like you're fairly sure of yourself."

Flack smiled." I am , you kept that gun after using it in Greece I will put money on the fact that you still have it my warrant covers all your property, don't worry ill trash your place if I have to but I will find it."He headed to the exit and Hawkes followed before leaving he turned back." I have a friend who wants to talk to you sit tight. We have a gun to find."

Mac helped Stella into the room, and then backed up, he had promised to let her handle this; and she knew how to handle an interrogation she would get a confession."Hi, you are Tas?" He glared at her and Mac wanted to slap him hard. The rest of the meeting went in a similar fashion, the jerk glared at Stella and Mac clenched his fists to keep from pounding the weasel sitting across from his friend while wishing someone would walk in with the damn gun so he could let Stella cuff the rat; he had made everyone promise to let her do it.

Danny walked in and set the gun on the table between Stella and Tas." I suggest considering the fact that a packed suitcase is not the best place for a gun when the police go to search your apartment, could have given us a challenge."

Mac took one arm and Danny got the other they hauled the man to his feet pulled him around the table; Stella took the cuffs and locked his wrists. He pulled her to her feet as Danny lead Matthias Samaras to lock up, Stella slid into his arms he felt her burrow into his neck. Mac pulled her close and held her tight."Its over Stella, he is gone." He felt his shirt dampen with her tears when she lifted her head he saw she was smiling." I know, it's finally all done, but it doesn't stop the bite that I was used." He helped her with the crutches relieved that she was going to be able to put it to rest; he would take her home but he needed to make one stop first. It was long past time for him to put something to rest as well, they hailed a cab and he saw the color fade from her face as he gave the address of the memorial. He knew it should have happened long ago, he knew from his time in the marines, as a CSI, and he had heard it many times from Stella, he needed to put his memories of Claire to rest and today he would; with Stella by his side because she was the one who had stood by him from start to finish. Stella was the friend that had stood with him through the tough times with no recognition, all the pain, and then she had been on deaths door when he finally realized that he had to let it go, he couldn't die with Claire and he hadn't so he had to carry on living, not mourning and he was ready to step into that new path. It was Stella who had taught him many lessons but the one he was not going to forget was that learning to let go and carry on was a job that took two people ; and she wanted to be his partner in it just as she was at work.

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